In a shocking update to the IT Community it was revealed through leaked sources the next rendition of the Microsoft Server in Development will switch from Windows Powershell to the new Open Source release of Corn Shell.
When attempted to be reached for comment Steve Ballmer was not available. However rumors surrounding the new abilities Corn Shell would offer over Powershell were astounding.
An unnamed source was quoted with the following information.
“……Well running on the popularity of Windows Powershell, we decided to press forward and be more innovative. The IT Community asked for us to listen to their concerns and we decided having a Scripting environment and Shell console that truly on the ears of the Community would be a great idea. Plus the new Corn Shell is truly a part of our strive to place forth a Green Initiative in every IT Environment.”
The Corn Shell will extend on the concepts of Windows Powershell but split off in a new direction with the concepts of Seed processes.
“You see with a Seed process, we drop one or two in place and they grow and consume Dynamically. But unlike regular processes, the Seed Processes can produce their own resources. Ram will naturally roam about the Corn Shell seeking to adopt it’s Kernels within. The Ram will also spawn additional ram through a new binding system to be referred as Mating. Mating Ram will also be environmentally friendly as they will cohabitate with the Corn Shell and all that it offers.”
New Corn Shell Seed Processes have the interesting option of built in Popping as well which truly intrigued many members of the IT Community. The .NET Framework was being replaced on the back end with a brand new design simply called “Fence”. Fence framework at this time was still in development with no further details.
As the newest Core of the Microsoft Server, Corn Shell would also introduce the latest Built In Defence system to remove all Potential attack. The new Cumulative Reactive Orchestrator for Websites will leverage a new Workflow based solution to outsmart 100% of Virii. In addition Microsoft is also rumored to be introducing a smarter method of defending against Malware by creating randomly created new versions. Leveraging the Simulated Computer Attacking Reaction Enablement system, Corn Shell and the newest Server can defend from all Malware by creating them on it’s own. S.C.A.R.E and C.R.O.W. will be locked down and 100% inpregnable.
“…the early pre Dog food tests (officially at this stage referred to as Pig Slop) are exciting! Not only have we cut down power needs by 8,000% since the new Corn Shell runs off 100% all natural methane for the Power Supplies, it has a built it Cloud environment which costs less than Open Source. The biggest drawback are the expensive fans in the Data Center to vent out the smell.”
Jeffrey Snover, the designer of Windows Powershell was also unavailable for comment.